FINALLY

finally managed to blog. i forgot my password and was too lazy to retrieve it. HAHAHA.

i have so much to talk about to blog about to bitch about to whine about to everything about.

this is gonna be very random! but HEY! its a month's worth right! hahaa.

exams came and went. as usual was a bit disappointed but HEY! minsy doesnt dwell about results for more than two days! infact when lian asked me bout my nego grade today, i clean forgot. HAHA. but i rem whining about it. HAHA.

den came christmas. had a nice christmas with the MG ppl and then with the family. was fun buying presents for everyone then playing WII at home with the family. but how i wish that u were here. been wanting to write u a letter. shall do so soon when i feel that i can deal with it.

den came new year. on of the relatively peaceful-er ones i had. cant say i hated it. but it was made much better with my sweetie pie.

i feel like ive been neglecting my friends. and yes. i think i have. but i would have to say its inevitable. i want to be there for the important moments in his life and i guess yea sacrifices have to be made. good or bad? i dont know. i just know to keep the ones important close enough for them to know im still there for them.

I miss the cchs girls.

in this period of time, i got reacquainted with a lost friend and i lost one too. i was sad when i lost her. but when i thought about it, was i ever really a friend? i dont know. but somehow when given the chance to mend this friendship, it seems like im too tired to do so. it seems like i SHOULD do it. but i dont think ill be happy doing it. so sorry my friend, perhaps time will make things easier to live with and the next time we meet we can be friends.

and lately, ive been v boggered down with things wrt my dearie. Whenever he frowns, i feel the pain in my heart. and yet i know i canot do anything about it. i feel this irrepressible want to envelope him in this place with blue skies and rainbows but know i cant. why cant everyone in this world take a step back and look at the whole thing from the big picture? to me, compromising is the key. Does being obstinate bring u anywhere? NO. why be so hard on my baby. day and day i see him getting stressed out by stuff. his personal stuff, family stuff, work stuff. i hate it.

many things on my mind. but its not like i need someone to listen to me. its just i realized that ppl do grow up. ppl change. and i just need to realize that and move on. a random msn conversation with a close bud made me realize how different she was. how her somewhat arrogance seemed to piss me off. and i was quite sad after that. why.

that said somethings dont change. and thats family. =) i still miss my aunt alot. and it just came to me that day that its close to a year since she has passed on. we are all learning how to say her name and the things she used to do without choking on our tears. am just wondering what i shld do this year on valentines? can i write her something? but how do i know she can see it?

Life's full of regrets. During the hols, i read alot. I read this book "P.S. I Love You" and "Tuesdays with Morrie". i teared when i read both, more so for the latter. at the sweetness and the bittersweet feeling that stirred in me for the former. at how someone strives to move on with her life aft her love has left. how she learns to cope. all with the the help of the one that made it that way. and how regret filled me when i read the latter. of how she would have coped with the illness and death if she had read the book b4 she did. Did she read the book b4? why didnt i read the book and give it to her just b4 she fell so sick. on a happier note, im sure with everyday, everyone learns to cope better. my little-lest cousin! she actually bought a I LOVE MOM shirt when she went for a holiday with her family! =) so cute. does that mean shes moving on? and she has a blog now! so cute! and her dad TAGS on her blog. haha. so dearest er gugu if u can see this somehow, know that they are moving on slowly painfully, but surely still moving. every festival, every birthday, i miss u. but we'll learn how to cope better.

see i told u this would be random what. on a happier note. dinner with the SMU peeps every tues. COOL OR WHAT. hahaha. and they actually TOLD ME TO CHOOSE MY OWN BRITHDAY PRESENT. SICK! wheres the surprise element? ahahaa.

on that. my sweetie did the sweetest thing on my birthday! He bought me 3 packages from DIVA and then gave me one after the another, each one with a meaning. so SCHWEEET. =)))

but dearie! WHEN U READ THIS! please know that things will always find a solution for themselves! i know it! =) like when i was feeeling extremely poor. my dad decided to give me pocket money! hahaa when he hadnt for the past 4 months? HAHA. and i promise ill be there for u!

that said. now that i rem my password ill blog more. haa. been great having an outlet. blogger i heart u! =)