i think. i've really had enough. really.
i'm so fucking tired of this. its not funny.
there are many many ways to let a person go.
if it was just our relationship that didn't work out.
yes it will hurt.
but not like this.
thats the problem.
because its not just that.
u know urself it isnt.

yes our relationship had its problems.
yes i had my faults.
but once you decided to involve another person in.
you knew this was going to end this way.
but of cos i wasnt supposed to find out, was i.

if being open about ur feelings ur love ur emotions and inevitably causing extreme hurt when you know you will, is the way u choose to do it, i have nothing to say.
because that's just plain mean and definitely selfish.

which u never were.

its too much.
i know i may not seem like it matters to me anymore.
but really.
u should know better.
if it was one of ur good girlfriends, ur mei or whoever who was in my position.
tell me.
what would u do.
you would have probably beat that person up mindless.

theres only so much a person can take.
and so much a person can do.
and ive had it.

i know i said i would tell you personally if i had something to say.
something to ask.
but u dont understand do you.
when i do that.
i become the desperate one.
and you dont understand.
when i do that.
i become the one that clinging on for her dear life.
when i do that.
you will just feel irate and pissed off that i still want to be part of your life.

and i will never allow myself ever to be that desperate person ever again.

and u weird ugly fucked up outsiders who are reading this, fuck off really.

just so you know.
you will never ever find someone who loves you the way i did.
never.
and that's not a threat, not a curse.
that's the truth.

you can be happy with ur babygirl.
i've really had it.