for every single ounce of misery i feel, i wish you more.
more more more.
so you will not only feel the pain that i feel.
but also more. to punish you.

to let u realize how painful it is for me.
and then to realize ur bloody folly.

i feel so spiteful mean and evil.
but i just needed to say it.

esp on xmas somemore.


maybe saggis arent that nice.
the last i heard something similar.
was what sue said she will say if she saw u on the streets.

sounds like what i would say if i ever saw J on the streets too.


humans really shouldnt have beating hearts.



santa really didnt hear me.
maybe i should have done it the old fashioned way and wrote to him.
my family's not happy. not truly anyway.
my love's not happy.
im not happy.

everyone was happy with their gifts this year.
but the air had a mood of gloom.
we all do love each other.
and you would have completed it all.

Dear God,
I dont know how to make her happy.
but if you can get thro to her.
please let her see.
that we love her so.
please let her open the presents.
and see that we actually love her so much.
Please see my aunts and cousins thro this period too.
give them the courage to.
its so difficult.

give her the courage to believe.
take her pessimism away.
and then she will see the love.
and see what she has.

give her a smile.

Thank you God.
this will be my only wish this year.
the rest. ill save them for another.


By the time i reach the end of the post.
so does my hate.
im sorry.
i take my words back.

dont be miserable anymore.
i wish u heart shaped pink glitter and sparkles.
all showering down.
and may u smile.
work's hectic.
so the only thing i wish for you
will be occasional smiles to keep you going
and long restful sleep with sweet cotton candy dreams.

goodnight sweets.
try to sleep ok?
love.