so obviously you dont care anymore.
with ur fb missing her updates running rampant on ur page.

but fortunately.
for the right or wrong reasons.
i dont feel that sad anymore.

but i dont think its entirely right anyway.

think most of my heart/emotions/mind is going towards the wrong direction.
a direction that's none of my business.

i do feel sad.
still the odd feeling of super bui gam wan.
the heart still aches.
that you are trying so hard with someone.
till ur emotions are haywire.
like wtf. u are willing to try so hard with her.
so god damn hard.
with HER.

but surprisingly.
what rules my head now is not sadness. not misery.
but anger.
and this anger is not even for myself!
its for you!
FOR YOU MY DEAR FRIEND.

i dont know whether you can see.
but she's obviously twirling u around her lil red manicured finger.

the scary thing is not only that maybe you cant see.
but the scariest scariest shit is
you CAN see
but u allow urself to be twirled around

dropped.
picked up.
dropped again.

just like a fisherman.
fishing.
u bite the hook.
she reels you in.
pats the lil fish.
kisses the lil fish.
give it a lil food.
just a lil.
not too much.
just to keep u alive.
keep u interested.
lets you swim ard a lil in her lil red bucket of water.
den oh.
fishy is so boring.
throw back into the big wide sea.
but she hangs a lil piece of bait on the hook.
so that u will bite on.
no matter how hard it is to bite on in the sea.
den when shes bored and she doesnt mind playing with fishy again.
she reels u in again.

She will have u by her side when she wants some warmth, some company, some laughs, some entertainment.
but that's all.

i mean really.
since when were you the kind that took shit from pple.
since when did u tolerate bullshit from people.
since when did u allow someone to do all this to u.
since when did u think that this was all ok

Look at ur dear best friend
with his wife that you dislike.
why do you dislike her.

and now you're following in the footsteps of your best friend.

now isnt that scary.

and the reason why im not feeling as sad is because
my emotions are largely taken over by anger, indignation, and just pure wtf-this-is-total-ridiculous-bullshit feelings.
i feel so angry
angry for you.
that u allow someone like her to thwart your emotions left right centre

and you know whats the main reason?
take this as my perception.
take this as my assumption.
take this as my views from my understanding of you (which may be wrong cause i may not know you.)
its not love that's bounding you tight
its not even lust. (not largely anyway)
its a crazy unwavering nutcase foolish stubborness
a crazy rebellion to make it work.
a determination to prove everyone wrong
a stubborness to stick through ur choice

thats totally insane isnt it.
totally totally insane.