lets run.

i always feel better after talking about it.
always.

it feels like all the questions and worries i have come tumbling out.
and somehow a chart seems to kinda link things.
link link link. u cant do anything.
link link link. u have done everything you could.
link link link. u have no answer to this.
and well. yes. so if things happen they happen.
just like that song.
que sera sera. whatever will be will be.

God, please help.


i do know that these feelings of "ah fuck it, just let it be" wont actually last.
i do know that these feelings of "i think i can handle this. im not sad anymore" wont actually last.
and lastly i do know that these feelings of "you will just be a friend." wont actually last.

but for now that wll be it.
for as long as it lasts.


i feel ignored.
friend/morethanfriend/stranger/passing person in life/ random person/person you dislike.
whatever.
i feel ignored.
no it doesnt feel good.

but its okay.
if thats the way.
its okay.
if it makes you feel better.
easier to deal with things.
okay.

ill deal with it.

everyone needs time i suppose.
to deal with their inner demons.
escapism.

i do understand.

whatever the reason.

i still stick to what i said.
like i said.
it doesnt matter when it happens.
as long as you know that it must.
no matter whether it still works when the day it does.

till the time's right.
we wont.
we will keep it safe under our pillowcases.
and only think about it before we sleep.
at least we try.

the time must be right.
we wont know when.
at least i wont.
but yes. ill wait.

i dont want question marks, commas, semi colons.
i want sentences with full stops.
whether it works. or not.
i wanna continue with full stops.

till then. ill sit in the shadows.


till then. as promised from before.
ill give you ur space.
something maybe you felt you never had.
something you felt i never gave.

and i wish you well.
work's really hectic.
crazy colleagues.
crazy pple.
crazy times.
but you will do well.
sleep enough.
grit ur teeth.
and like u always said.
rock and roll over.
haha.

good sleep.
good friends.
good food.
good time well spent with less alcohol.



hard love.
but thats the way methinks.