Stop thinking you fucking stupid bitch.
Yes you.
You there in the ratty pink Minnie Mouse tshirt and FBTs.
You're already so tired you still think and think and think and think.
it doesnt fucking change anything dont u know.
who cares if you hurt.
who cares if you cry for the millionth time.
who cares if you cant sleep
who cares if you cant eat
who cares if your every single solitary moment is permeated with thoughts of him, of her.
who cares if your laughter is no longer the ones that come straight from the heart.
who cares if your heart is left in pieces, all strewn over the floor.

nobody.
yes nobody.

definitely not him.

so wake up ur idea and stop.

Even when you try ur best to block it out.
totally exhaust urself.
be happy and laugh.
shop. buy nice clothes. nice dresses.
eat. get high. get drunk. get wasted.
surround urself with friends and stuff to do.
Even if it all doesnt work.
you still gotta work hard.
you gotta try harder and harder and harder.
try so fucking hard that u exhaust all ur energy.
i know you are already trying.
but its not enough.
and u still have to try. try harder.
I'm sorry but nobody can help you.
you have to do it urself.
you have to try so darn hard ur insides hurt.
you just have to.
you must.
you must you must you must.

Cant you already see, understand and believe it already.
hes an asshole.
a bastard.
a fucking cheebye bastard.
he doesnt care.
doesnt bother.
even if he does care, its prob just to get rid of the guilt.
its not for you.
dont even dare think its for you sweetheart.
its not.
its for himself.
cause hes only human.
he needs you to feel better so he can answer to his conscience.
ur pain. ur hurt. only takes up a teeny teeny part of his heart.
if you die today.
he will just mourn a while, burn u incense and say goodbye.
and move on tralala.
he just wants you out of his life
so he can have many better tomorrows with her.
hes gonna give her the world.
a future.
his heart.
his time.
his hugs, his kisses and sweetnothings.
the best he can offer to her.
he will miss her, dream of her, think of her.
wanna be together with her all the time.

not you.
not you anymore.
who are you to him?
merely a passerby in his life.
who foolishly loved him with her heart and soul.

so wake up ur fucking idea miss zhang.
stop hanging on.
stop relying.
stop wishing.
stop thinking the best of him.
start hating him.
and mean it.

Remember what he did to you.
Remember each and every single time he let you down
Remember each promise he gave but didnt keep.
Remember each time he slashed your heart.
Remember what he did to you.
Most importantly
Remember not to be so stupid and foolish anymore.
Try to remember in ur thick numbskull head
that there's nothing called true everlasting love in this world
nobody can love you forever
like you think you can.
Nobody.
Everybody changes.
so stop being such a dreamer.
Don't ever forget that you understand.
Dont be stupid and foolish anymore
and trust somebody like this.
Dont ever ever ever ever
Fall in Love again.

Stop thinking that he still is, or will be, the same sweet boy you fell in love with.
The one who panickly searched for a tshirt and slippers when he realized you were stuck in office pants and high heels.
The one who painted doors with you.
The one who painted THAT door with you.
The one that asked you to be his.
The One.
Because he's not.
He left you.
hurt you.
stabbed you.
cheated on you

So stop fucking loving him.
Stop.

How many times you want me to fucking tell you?
That person.
He died.

Stop torturing urself.

Stop fucking loving him.

*edit
no la never cheat.
never date us both together what.
it was one after the other.
days apart.
never cheat.