i just read xx's blog entry about her love story.
and boy.
what a story.

you know i think thats what love is about really.

besides the all sweet moments of looking into each other's eyes
snuggling under blankets
laughing with each other

love is mostly about sacrifices and compromise

its about the headiness and the rashness to give up the things that matter to you.

bt only if the recepient is deserving of your love of course
otherwise its just stupidity.

its about how you know you can give up everything in this world for another person.
well almost everything.
how like no matter how hard it was
just looking at this person you gave everything up for at the end of the day would make it all worth it.

its def irrational.
crazy.

but i think that's really love.

love is.
purposely ordering the food you think he will like even though you might not. cause you like to see him eating happily.
waking up early, staying up late just to catch a glimpse of him. even if its 5am. and u have only a few hours before u get to work.
thinking of saving every penny up so as to buy him a lil surprise gift
being excited every single time you meet up with him even though the last time you saw him was yesterday.
telling him lets watch a movie! cause he love movies. even though you will end up falling asleep cause too tired.
giving up going out on special days because looking at him sleep peacefully was more fufilling.

and so much more.


once.
i was that too.

i remembered once.
you asked me what if one day you wanna emigrate overseas.
i said but i love sg. i love my parents. i love my family. i love my friends
i dont wanna go anywhere. i cant leave them.
and you said okay.
but actually. a part of me knew, eventually i'd have gone anywhere you wanted to.

when you wanted to go Taiwan.
i actually entertained the thought of going there to get a job. think peish suggested.
at tt moment i knew i was crazy. ahhaha.

but love is crazy.

and you were a deserving recepient of my crazy love.

i dont know when i figured or knew that you were the one.
was it that moment when u held my hand while crossing the road at bugis
and i told you "its a weird feeling to be holding hands"
and you smiled and said "ill hold it forever. you'll get used to it"
or was it the moment you said "you're really the one i wanna spend the rest of my life with. i dont want to look anymore. cause everything's right. and ill do anything to make us work."

i dont know.



when you sent me that sms yesterday.
i was so consumed by anger.
so so angry.

and the main reason was because i couldnt believe that you actually thought that of me.
you may say it was just bluntness.
but like i said before.
things said at the heat of the moment are rash, maybe not what you really intend to.
but theres always elements of truth in it.

was i such a person to you??

its was so utterly heartbreaking
because the person that means the most to you in this whole world.
actually thought that of you.

i teared as i shopped.
those tears were tears of anger.
and disappointment.

=(

but as the nasty smses were exchanged.

and i called someone to let the steam out.

i no longer felt angry.

like it was like the steam was let out of a hot kettle.

and this part was the scary part.

because i realized.
i wasnt angry with you anymore.
despite the mean things you said.
because
i actually understood you.
and i already forgave you.

thats.
crazy.
scary.


den i wondered to myself.
shld i still go watch the show.

i intended to watch the show.
purely because i missed watching the performances.
and it was a good day to do it.
i was happy cheery and all.

and i told myself.
i had to get pass this first stage.
of seeing you.

i always thought i would do so.
someday when i was prepared.

but ur heart cannot prepare for something that it is unaware of.
so there's no way you can ever be prepared.

so in the end.
i decided to go.

as i approached that all too familiar place.
my heart was beating so fast.

i rem talking non stop outside so as to calm my nervous heart.
i rem grabbing on to charlene and telling her. im scared. and she gave me a puzzled look.

as i sat there.
and watched.
i remembered how i used to watch too.
its been a long time since i came here.
how my eyes would be transfixed on you.
and you would shoot me a smile every now and then.

but yesterday.
i did not have the courage to stare too long at you.
for fear of catching ur eye

but i missed you.

as the set dragged on.
it wasnt good.
and i had alot on my mind.

maybe it was me.
but i could see that you had alot on ur mind too.

and for a while
i felt guilt.

den ai hen jian dan came on.
maybe it was the dark.
maybe it was the emotions.
maybe it was the song.
maybe it was the raw husky voice.

i cried.

my eyes welled up with tears.
thank God for the dim lighting.

every single word.


it was the most difficult thing i had done in a long time.
making the decision to go see you
with people that i wasnt very close to.
with no shoulder to rely on if things go awry
with nobody to talk to

but im glad i did.

its one hurdle crossed.

one fear conquered.


and with that.
i shall leave you all with a song.

love is really simple.
just love.
den everything else will fall in place.




忘了是怎么开始 也许就是对你一种感觉
忽然间发现自己 已深深爱上你 真的很简单
爱的地暗天黑都已无所谓 是是非非无法抉择
没有后悔为爱日夜去跟随 那个疯狂的人是我 喔～

I LOVE YOU 无法不爱著你 BABY 说你也爱我
I LOVE YOU 永远不愿意 BABY 失去你

不可能更快乐 只要能在一起 做什么都可以
虽然 世界变个不停 用最真诚的心 让爱变的简单
爱的地暗天黑都已无所谓 是是非非无法抉择
没有后悔为爱日夜去跟随 那个疯狂的人是我 喔～

I LOVE YOU 我一直在这里陪 一直在爱你
I LOVE YOU(yes I do) 永远都不放弃 这爱你的权利

如果你还有一些困惑 Oh No
请贴著我的心倾听
听我说著 爱你 (yes I do)