in the office when everyone's gone again!
lovin' the peace and quiet. =)

had my first bday lunch today!
it was nicee. Pu Tien.
My appetite has definitely gone down alot balls.
but its ok.
its just right. =)

and my first bday present!
my boss gave me a nice black patent Guess pouch.
Was looking for a new makeup bag.
but i think its too nice for a makeup bag man.
____

maybe you think im better now.
so you dont have to care.
thats why you're starting your updates again.
and you're right.
i AM better now.
You can do whatever you want.
express ur love.
be kissy kissy lovey lovey.

it will still fucking hurt me.
i will still cry.
I will still be sad.
But.
no worries.
ill be fine.
I'm strong.
I'll be fine.
Ill cry.
ill whine.
ill bitch.
But in the end.
Ill be fine.

i dont know when ill stop caring for you.
When ill stop loving you.
But its all cool.
Ill handle myself.
Cause im Minsy.

I read her tweet.
And i was filled with questions.
I wonder if it was you.
But should be la.
Then i asked myself.
To be totally unbiased.
Did you cheat on me?
And i realized the answer is Yes.

Before everything happened.
It never crossed my mind that you would.
Never.
Cause i would never have given so much for a man that would cheat on me.
Never.
I never HAD to ask myself this question.
So it never crossed my mind.
I trusted you too much.

Sweetheart.
Cheating doesnt mean sleeping with someone else
Doesnt mean hanky panky with someone else
Doesnt even mean calling each other babyboy and babygirl.

When 2 people enter a relationship.
A committed relationship.
In Mandarin: 论及婚嫁
They commit themselves to each other.

This means.
My heart belongs to you and you only.
Your heart belongs to me and me only.

When one party withdraws that commitment and gives his heart to someone else.
When you start to care for that someone else.
When you become attached to that someone else.
You dont even have to touch her.
Thats cheating.

This form of cheating is even worse than physical cheating.
Physical cheating is: Wham Bham Thank you Madm.
But Emotional Cheating. Worse.

And im not talking about mths after you break up.
This was in days.

You already gave her your heart way before.

How can you fall in love with someone else in 1/2 days?
You were already in love with her before.
Maybe you were out of love with me way before.
But you were holding on.
Until someone else came along.
And made you realize.
Similanjiao.

Do a blind test.
Tell someone.
A broke up with B.
den 2 days after.
A was already seeing C.
calling C babygirl.
You tell me.
What is this?
What nonsense is this?
A never cheat?
A found C.
A fell in love with C 2 days after A broke up with B.
A realized B cannot make it.
So better break up with B.
So can get together with C.
Where got like that?
You think breaking up and not loving someone is like pressing a button?
Activate. Deactivate.

You told her.
I'm going through a breakup.
Where got like that?
Making urself available har?
Like Hang On. Im available. Almost.
All ready to move on.
Time to be sad?
No need la.
I'm all ready.
All ready to move on to you.

It's like monkey-bar-ing. (a term coined by my SMU friends)
you go from bar to bar.
where got like that one?

Its not her fault.
Its yours.
She could be a slut, a whore, a nun, a sweet girl, a whatever.
Unfortunately you chose someone worse.

This someone.
Who seems to like you alot now.
Will soon move on to the next better candidate when he comes along.
Trust me. Haha.

True love doesn’t happen right away; it’s an ever-growing process. It develops after you’ve gone through many ups and downs, when you’ve suffered together, cried together, laughed together.
Her love for you.
Will only exist for its sweet moments.
For moments when shes weak.
When she wants to be rescued.
You think she will be there for you at your lowest?
Truly?
Good for you.

And dont promise you will never cheat.
Cause you already did.
And someday maybe you will.
So stop issuing promises like before.
When you cant keep them.

Enjoy it while it lasts sweets.
Both of you.
Cause unfortunately,
It really isnt gonna last.

Its my angst talking now.
But its honest angst.
Stuff i had no guts to say.
Because i still wanted you.

I may be of some importance to you.
You may care for me.
But its obviously not sufficient for you to change anything.

I have so much to say.
But not now.
not today.
maybe never.

Dont talk to me.
Dont sms me.
Dont.

I want out.