just came back from a night out with my jc girlies, blondie mich and 3na!
had a great time!!
it was fun just talking rubbish the whole night.
i think i ate so much today. even had some space to eat the macdonalds breakfast. haha.
thank you darlings! i really had fun! =)
_______________

My first movie wo you.
Not bad.
New Moon.
haha.

glimpses of you came into my mind when edward came out.
the front part when the volturi twisted the guy's head.
i gasped and instinctively tried to grab the hand next to mine.
but i realized u werent there.
was never a fan of gory scenes was i.
but can never sink my face into ur chest anymore.

the movie was ok.
too many cheesy moments.
ha.
but i can relate to bella i suppose.
the sudden ness.
except i think hers is worse since edward disappeared like lightning. haha.

her crumbling.
her loss for words.
her convulsing.
i was all that.
ha.

hard hard.

except that i dont have a Jacob.
and i dont want a Jacob.

Just let me indulge ok.
Its my birthday afterall.

what the hell were you thinking when you sent that message.

had alot to say.
but some words were lost after the bath.

Ill be okay. after this.
just needa get it out.

im strong.
i am strong.
i am strong.

but im not invincible sir.

i dont want to know that everythings still there where they are left.
i dont.
so what if they are.
what if they are.

because nothing else is.

cause ill come online to read that you two are lovey dovey.

why the hell is everything still there anyway.
cause we arent.

i am not fucking superwoman.

i am not.

i am just a fool who fell head over heels in love.

i dont want to see those sweet stuff you're doing.
i dont want to see those sweet msges.
i dont want to see u loving her.
i dont want to see anything.

Go away.

please.
go away.

Go away.


happy birthday minsy.

wipe those tears away now.
now.

dont you dare ever ever even think nice things.
stop being so fucking stupid and weak.

Please remember how he told you he wont get together with anyone.
cause he had no time for a girlfriend anyway.
no time to entertain
and u foolishly believed him.

Please remember what he said when you asked "why her why her"
and he said.
Cause of you.
you always said that i should go for someone else. so i did.

Please remember all of this.
All of this.
and remember this pain.
this crazy excruciating pain.
Remember it.

Remember it.

Cause sweetheart.
the worse's aint over.

its ok.
today you can be weak
you can cry.

but not for long ok.
its time to brace yourself for the storm thats coming.

Remember it.
Remember.
you're a strong girl.
you dont need a weak willed man.

Remember it all.