today.
i was really pissed.

besides the fact that i was feeling sick.
but i was really really really pissed.


when i read that.
i was really pissed.
it was a huge slap to my face.
i rem tears coming to my eyes.
even though i was doing some impt work for my boss.
i couldnt control it.

that song.
means alot to me.
because im usually the one that wakes up before you.
the one that gets to enjoy the you sleeping.
the peace.
the quiet.
the simple, pure love.
every single emotion.
every single word.
is very precious to me.

i dont really give a damn what you 2 had.

but DONT dont ever try to compare what i felt to that.
dont taint my feelings.

i feel so insulted.
yes im selfish like that.
possessive. yes.
this is the evil side of me.


frankly i dont know whether its true. whats true. whats not. what you feel.
but it hurts.our 2 year relationship didnt seem to even impact you as hard as your 2 mth relationship/fling? i dont know what to call that really.

it hurts to even type this.
but maybe
you love her more than me?
what the hell.

it really fucking hurts.

whats love really.
do you know what love encompasses?

sue said. sometimes the period doesnt matter.
and inside me i think i know. yes. the period doesnt matter.
BUT I DONT CARE OKAY.
i really dont.

so painful.

sigh.


i stared at ur msn window for a long time before deciding to ask you about it.
because at that moment.
i knew you were still sad.
hurt. by her.
and i shouldnt.
but i couldnt take it.
i had to ask.

it was a painful answer to take.

and now.
im sorry i had to ask you.
but it prob didnt affect you half as much as it did to me.
but i wouldnt have been able to work at all if i didnt.


whatever the reason was for the song.
whatever was in ur mind when u related to that song.
its okay.
i hope it helped you.


it was hell painful.
but ill be okay.

as usual.