many of my friends have said.
dont feel sad for him.
dont pity him.
dont help him.
he needs to feel this pain!
he needs to know what YOU were feeling x 10
then he will cherish what he had.
and realize how precious it all was.

but no.
whatever i went through.
i dont think anybody shld ever ever have to go through with it.
much less the ppl i love.

i think its safe to say.
im the person that truly knows what you're going through right now.

so conflicting.

and so ironic.
so so ironic.

one of my biggest fears in life.
is to lose the people i love.
and to be taken for granted by the ppl i love.

and both you knew.

in every relationship.
friendships even.
i dont give in half of myself.
i only give in all.
all of it.
and i dont really ask for anything in reciprocation.
ok not really la. maybe i do.
but yea u get my drift.

and i think i need to start learning to stop doing that.


it hurts.
to know that i am the person who knows you the best in this whole world.
or rather the person that got the closest to?
the only one that tried hard enough
and prob the only one (ok one of the rare few) that will accept you for who you really are.
and yet.
its not enough.

not enough. never enough.
what will be enough.


talk about numbing of the hearts.
tell me man.
im like a PHD in it.