i cant help it.

i miss you so much.

i haven looked at ur photos ever since.
for fear of stirring up unknown emotions
that ive managed to hide

i really dont dare to look at ur photos. our photos.
even that one in the wallet.

i dont know what else i can do to get rid of this feeling
but i have to
but i really dont know how to

too many different kinds of emotions mixed together

i miss you
why am i not better than her
cause shes hotter
cause shes better

pple will say no
everyone says how nice i am a person
how great a gf i will make
how caring and giving a person i am
how i am the kindest sweetest with the biggest heart

but so what.

the one left in the end alone
is still me.

i try to remind myself of what a person you were
everyday i do
how you didnt even have the guts to tell me about her
until i found out myself
how you didnt even have the guts to talk to me
for fear of maybe confronting and facing what you did
how immediate you leaped into her

if i never found out about her
i would have never
and i would have blamed myself forever
for being the person that drove you away from me

i would never have found out anything
and you would have allowed me to blame myself

without taking responsibility for urself

i remind myself everyday


but yet i miss you still.
esp at moments like this.

Dear God,
Please take these feelings of heartbreak away
Can?
Its not fair.
when hes already in love with another
another that doesnt even deserve it
but shes gets EVERYTHING.

He doesnt even care about me.
Forever ended.
and its been only almost 2 mths.
i didnt know Forever was so transient.
elusive. short term.
its not fair.
Its not fair that i care even
Its not fair that i feel no love in my heart.
Its really not fair.
What have i done to deserve all this.

So can you please take away everything.